do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
