Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
