Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
