So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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