this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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