What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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