I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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