3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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