I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
