I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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