Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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