I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize