Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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