? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
