dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
