didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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