Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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