My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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