The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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