You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
