I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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