Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
