i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
