Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
