I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
