he fucked my hip out of place.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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