You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
