Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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