you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
