Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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