omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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