with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
