This is not my ceiling
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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