Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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