Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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