I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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