I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize