How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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