only if we run a train.
done.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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