apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize