hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
