Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
PANTIES FOUND
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
