We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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