And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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