do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
