My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
whose parrot is this?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
