He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
