Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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