Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
