you would pick up someone in the library
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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