I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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