Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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