I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
