It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
