Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
