My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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