Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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