Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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