We're facebook friends in real life
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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