He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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