Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
