Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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