We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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