hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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