Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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