Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
