i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
