If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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